So the mister has been at a conference in Chicago for the last few days which has left me alone with The Woof. As a treat to our Woofbaby, we let her sleep in bed if one of us is gone. You would think that in a contest of wills between a 60 pound dog and a much bigger human, that the much bigger human will win the bed battle. My opponent did not give in so easily.
On the first night, Woofer decided to make a nest for herself out of the comforter. This left little for me which is a problem since *I* like to wrap myself up in the comforter. Thus began our epic struggle. The beauty of being human is having opposable thumbs and the ability to yank the comforter. Sure I heard a whimper, but I got my blanket back. And, bonus time--as a peace offering, Woofling decided to cuddle up next to me and keep me warm. Awwwwww. Too bad the next two nights she turned on the snoring and tried to push me out of bed. I think we'll have to call this installment of the Comforter War a draw.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Monday, January 09, 2012
Time to reflect
I've been left alone with a computer and a blogging platform. With time to think. This is a dangerous situation often leading to stream of consciousness blogging. Tonight's entry is no different.
Every year about this time, I get reflective. I think about the previous year--what went right, what went wrong, what I'd do differently. I think about the future, and what I want to accomplish. Still feeling warm and fuzzy from all that time with family, I think about how blessed I am with people who love me. This year was no different.
The last few years have been full of change. Just when I think I've got the situation under control, something else pops up. I've been left feeling like my life is a giant game of Whack A Mole, with problems instead of stuffed animals. I'm fortunate that none of my problems have turned out to be disasters, but I've been left feeling a little dizzy, tired and overwhelmed by it all.
Things really reached a low point for me last fall. The mister and I were at ND and had just finished a run around the lakes, one of my favorite places. I thought to myself how young the students we passed on the run looked. How bright-eyed and earnest, ready to take on the world. That was once me, I thought to myself.
And then I thought some more, how far I'd fallen from that point. I was in a job I disliked, doing work that simply paid the bills, dealing with difficult personalities and allowing my health to suffer. Back when I was a student I had so many plans about how I'd be successful and give back to my community. And here I was, ten years later. I wasn't successful and wasn't really helping my community. How did my life get so far off track? But really, I guess that's true for all of us. We had such clear ideas of how our lives would unfold. And now that I look back, things haven't quite worked out the way we'd planned for any of us. We all carry our battle scars--some scars are visible while others are hidden from prying eyes. But they are there. And I, for one, know that I'm stronger for those scars. I know what I'm made of. Having experienced disappointment, I know how great it feels to succeed. Having felt sorrow, I can appreciate joy. And above all, I know that when things are bad, those who love me will always be there for me. And really, sometimes that love is all that is needed to get out of a bad situation.
While at ND that weekend, I learned I'd been selected to share my struggle with ulcerative colitis to raise research money and awareness. Finally, I was doing something good for the world. Then, after returning from ND, I applied for a new job. On paper, it was perfect for me. But was I perfect for it? Lucky for me, someone thought I was. Just when I was hitting my low point, a new door opened. I've thought I had perfect jobs before and I am hesitant to make that mistake again. But for now, this is an improvement, and I'm realizing that there is no such thing as a "perfect" job. There's just good enough for right now. And right now, I'm finally able to catch my breath. My health is better and I'm much happier. I'm doing work that's fulfilling and I'm able to share my health struggles to help out others. It would be nice if 2012 could be a year that I rest and fully recover, since I know life is going to throw more curveballs at me in the future, but I need to remember that I'm not the one running this show. I just have to believe in God's plan and hang on for the ride.
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." ~A.A. Milne.
Every year about this time, I get reflective. I think about the previous year--what went right, what went wrong, what I'd do differently. I think about the future, and what I want to accomplish. Still feeling warm and fuzzy from all that time with family, I think about how blessed I am with people who love me. This year was no different.
The last few years have been full of change. Just when I think I've got the situation under control, something else pops up. I've been left feeling like my life is a giant game of Whack A Mole, with problems instead of stuffed animals. I'm fortunate that none of my problems have turned out to be disasters, but I've been left feeling a little dizzy, tired and overwhelmed by it all.
Things really reached a low point for me last fall. The mister and I were at ND and had just finished a run around the lakes, one of my favorite places. I thought to myself how young the students we passed on the run looked. How bright-eyed and earnest, ready to take on the world. That was once me, I thought to myself.
And then I thought some more, how far I'd fallen from that point. I was in a job I disliked, doing work that simply paid the bills, dealing with difficult personalities and allowing my health to suffer. Back when I was a student I had so many plans about how I'd be successful and give back to my community. And here I was, ten years later. I wasn't successful and wasn't really helping my community. How did my life get so far off track? But really, I guess that's true for all of us. We had such clear ideas of how our lives would unfold. And now that I look back, things haven't quite worked out the way we'd planned for any of us. We all carry our battle scars--some scars are visible while others are hidden from prying eyes. But they are there. And I, for one, know that I'm stronger for those scars. I know what I'm made of. Having experienced disappointment, I know how great it feels to succeed. Having felt sorrow, I can appreciate joy. And above all, I know that when things are bad, those who love me will always be there for me. And really, sometimes that love is all that is needed to get out of a bad situation.
While at ND that weekend, I learned I'd been selected to share my struggle with ulcerative colitis to raise research money and awareness. Finally, I was doing something good for the world. Then, after returning from ND, I applied for a new job. On paper, it was perfect for me. But was I perfect for it? Lucky for me, someone thought I was. Just when I was hitting my low point, a new door opened. I've thought I had perfect jobs before and I am hesitant to make that mistake again. But for now, this is an improvement, and I'm realizing that there is no such thing as a "perfect" job. There's just good enough for right now. And right now, I'm finally able to catch my breath. My health is better and I'm much happier. I'm doing work that's fulfilling and I'm able to share my health struggles to help out others. It would be nice if 2012 could be a year that I rest and fully recover, since I know life is going to throw more curveballs at me in the future, but I need to remember that I'm not the one running this show. I just have to believe in God's plan and hang on for the ride.
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." ~A.A. Milne.
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Sunday, December 11, 2011
You asked for this America!
And now I'm an IBD Icon. But my faithful readers already knew I had iconic status, of course. Naturally. I didn't need a title to confirm my status, but a title is nice of course. Too bad my title didn't come with a tiara. But it did come with a trip to Vegas, so I suppose that will do as a nice substitute. (And I have the t-shirt to prove it!) Of course, if any of my faithful subjects want to send me a tiara, it wouldn't be refused.
This whole experience has just overwhelming. We spent last weekend in Las Vegas as part of the Rock n' Roll Marathon. The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation was the charity partner for this race and the runners participating in Team Challenge (CCFA's fundraising program) raised $4.5 million for research. On Saturday evening, we all attended the pasta dinner for the 1,300 runners who had trained for weeks and spent hours and hours raising money for research. I'm incredibly grateful--thanks to their efforts, I have a much brighter future than my dad ever had. And I've been inspired to participate in Team Challenge as well, so you've been warned as I'm pretty sure I have email addresses for all my readers so I can reach you for fundraising appeals. In addition, there were 150,000+ votes in the IBD Icons program, and we raised another $20,000 for research. At the pasta dinner, the mister and I sat with the other IBD Icon (Doug) and his family as well as Casey Abrams and his family. Casey is really nice and so are his parents, so please think about supporting him as he tries to establish himself in his music career. He's really putting himself out there by being so open about his illness and is really helping all of us out. And his music is really pretty good!
On Sunday, we went to the pre-race concert and Doug and I were introduced as IBD Icons at the end of Casey's concert. The mister continues to tease me that I had my queen wave down pat. (Hello, THIS is why I need a tiara!) We were going to try to wait around for the start of the marathon as Mike McCready (who has Crohn's) of Pearl Jam was performing the National Anthem but it was cold and we were afraid of getting trapped by all the runners and not making it back to our hotel. So we watched on TV instead.
The trip really was amazing and Vegas is incredible. However, we learned we aren't really built for Vegas--we were in bed by 10 each night. We had dinner reservations at 8 one evening and I had to take a nap before dinner. Pathetic. I think we'll need to stick to our hiking vacations!
Thank you all so much for your support in this endeavor and sending me on this trip. You have been there for me through it all and I couldn't do this with out you. As I've said before, I was pretty hesitant to share my story. But I know I had to do it, and hopefully it will help someone else out there know that there's life after IBD. There are some things I can't do, but there are more things that I can do. This disease is not the death sentence I thought it was when I received my diagnosis. I don't know what my future holds but as long as I'm healthy, I owe it to myself (and to my dad's memory) to live life to the fullest as long as I possibly can. And I've realized through this experience that these diseases are bigger than me and my family--there are a lot of fellow travellers on this path and we owe it to each other to help each other out.
[Cue Lean on Me playing in the background and fade to black ]
Monday, November 28, 2011
A danger to myself and others
I have reached a new low in coming up with ways to hurt myself accidentally. If you thought the pie server incident was Jeteriffic, oh just you wait to read through this post.
First was Saturday night while I was asleep. I had this really really vivid dream where I bit my lip. When I woke up, I still remembered this dream. I have weird vivid dreams frequently, so this wasn't all that strange. What was strange was that I could feel my lip where I'd bitten it. Silly dream. Um, except the biting part? Yeah, that actually happened. Add in some blood thinners and my lip looks awesome.
Next was this morning. Somehow I slipped on our deck on a tiny patch of ice. My knees took the brunt of impact (though the coffee I was carrying to work was safe!) Um, yeah, skinned knees don't look hot on a kid learning to ride a bike and don't look hot on me either. Especially since remember that whole coumadin thing? Based on this morning's events, I've decided to skip my run. I'm just trying to build up natural padding to cushion my next fall.
It is a good thing you all know me well enough not to be surprised by these stories. The mister may be calling some of you to vouch that he is not the source of my flesh wounds! (And domestic violence is absolutely not funny. Just want to make sure you all know that I know that. But me being an idiot? Yeah, that is pretty darned funny, so laugh away!)
First was Saturday night while I was asleep. I had this really really vivid dream where I bit my lip. When I woke up, I still remembered this dream. I have weird vivid dreams frequently, so this wasn't all that strange. What was strange was that I could feel my lip where I'd bitten it. Silly dream. Um, except the biting part? Yeah, that actually happened. Add in some blood thinners and my lip looks awesome.
Next was this morning. Somehow I slipped on our deck on a tiny patch of ice. My knees took the brunt of impact (though the coffee I was carrying to work was safe!) Um, yeah, skinned knees don't look hot on a kid learning to ride a bike and don't look hot on me either. Especially since remember that whole coumadin thing? Based on this morning's events, I've decided to skip my run. I'm just trying to build up natural padding to cushion my next fall.
It is a good thing you all know me well enough not to be surprised by these stories. The mister may be calling some of you to vouch that he is not the source of my flesh wounds! (And domestic violence is absolutely not funny. Just want to make sure you all know that I know that. But me being an idiot? Yeah, that is pretty darned funny, so laugh away!)
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Same old story
The new job has started and all seems well. I don't want to say too much in case I jinx it, as I thought the last job (and the one before that!) were perfect for me as well. So far it appears to be what I was looking for, and so I am cautiously optimistic.
One major drawback is our prescription drug coverage. Asacol, which has worked beautifully for me for NINE years is not on the formulary. What.The.****. So, my options are to switch to one of the other "substitute" drugs (one of which I think might have caused a serious reaction for my dad) or I can pay for it out of pocket. Luckily, in 2012 they are supposed to permit patients to purchase non-formulary drugs for $100. It's three times the name-brand copay (no generic, as Asacol is still under patent protection) but that's still waaaaay less than full-price. It does make me angry since Asacol is such a basic drug in treating IBD.
Oh. And I forgot to mention. Viagra is covered. Because ED treatment is more important than keeping my inflamed colon slightly less inflamed.
One major drawback is our prescription drug coverage. Asacol, which has worked beautifully for me for NINE years is not on the formulary. What.The.****. So, my options are to switch to one of the other "substitute" drugs (one of which I think might have caused a serious reaction for my dad) or I can pay for it out of pocket. Luckily, in 2012 they are supposed to permit patients to purchase non-formulary drugs for $100. It's three times the name-brand copay (no generic, as Asacol is still under patent protection) but that's still waaaaay less than full-price. It does make me angry since Asacol is such a basic drug in treating IBD.
Oh. And I forgot to mention. Viagra is covered. Because ED treatment is more important than keeping my inflamed colon slightly less inflamed.
Monday, October 31, 2011
There's no place like home
I'm in-between jobs right now (start the new job on Wednesday--yay!) so I took a few days to visit Megs and her kids in DC. I had a great time catching up and Megs was a super host. Our paths don't cross as often as I'd like since our families are in different cities and our circle of friends is pretty much done with weddings, so it was great to catch up with Megs and some other friends in the DC area.
On my flight home, my body was doing its best to expel a lung (of all the weeks in the year, this had to be the week I caught a cold!) so I spent a lot of time looking out the window in an attempt to not breathe on my fellow passengers. Taking off from Reagan National, I could see all the DC landmarks and I felt a little twinge of jealousy, wishing that my career path had taken me to DC--it has always been one of those cities that the mister and I have on a short list of places that we'll move to in a heartbeat if the opportunity presents itself.
Despite my status as one of the Infected, the passenger in the seat next to me struck up a conversation--he had noticed my class ring and asked if it was an ND ring. Funny how that can start conversations! He was a Georgetown grad, in DC for a meeting. As we talked and I learned more about my fellow passenger, I began to suspect that he was an acquaintance of an acquaintance who I had heard many good things over the years. As we left the plane and finally provided our names, my suspicions proved correct, and I told my seatmate of our connection. What a small world--what are the odds that on a completely full flight I'd be seated next to this person? The mutual acquaintances were my first non-work friend here in Kansas City and my professional mentor here in town. It felt like all my local connections were coming together at once and really made me realize that Kansas City is where I'm supposed to be at this point in my life. I may not be here forever, and that's OK--having moved a lot as a child, I'm open to new places. But right now, this is where I belong. Kansas City is home right now.
If only I had a pair of ruby slippers to go along with this new realization.
On my flight home, my body was doing its best to expel a lung (of all the weeks in the year, this had to be the week I caught a cold!) so I spent a lot of time looking out the window in an attempt to not breathe on my fellow passengers. Taking off from Reagan National, I could see all the DC landmarks and I felt a little twinge of jealousy, wishing that my career path had taken me to DC--it has always been one of those cities that the mister and I have on a short list of places that we'll move to in a heartbeat if the opportunity presents itself.
Despite my status as one of the Infected, the passenger in the seat next to me struck up a conversation--he had noticed my class ring and asked if it was an ND ring. Funny how that can start conversations! He was a Georgetown grad, in DC for a meeting. As we talked and I learned more about my fellow passenger, I began to suspect that he was an acquaintance of an acquaintance who I had heard many good things over the years. As we left the plane and finally provided our names, my suspicions proved correct, and I told my seatmate of our connection. What a small world--what are the odds that on a completely full flight I'd be seated next to this person? The mutual acquaintances were my first non-work friend here in Kansas City and my professional mentor here in town. It felt like all my local connections were coming together at once and really made me realize that Kansas City is where I'm supposed to be at this point in my life. I may not be here forever, and that's OK--having moved a lot as a child, I'm open to new places. But right now, this is where I belong. Kansas City is home right now.
If only I had a pair of ruby slippers to go along with this new realization.
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